I'm tempted to ask why didn't you say that to him?

But I guess you would not have been heard.

The point about the red face - the rising emotions that make dialogue impossible - interests me.

My beliefs are a world away from your abuser, but I can feel that emotional rush begin to creep up even if I want to to encourage my interlocuteur to think for themselves (as oppose to accept what I say).

But a belief in the value of thought is made of the same stuff as a belief in the value of arbritrary interpretations of a book.

Hope the rest of the wedding included dancing.